Why people have affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from ancient times. Extramarital affairs can be fraught with troubles, cause sadness, and other problems. Plus you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety issue, finances, age difference, faith upbringing, shame, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married dating.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking extramarital affairs. I think mainly though it is only the human state, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us get away the real world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone are able to turn the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos culture has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is extremely pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your relatives or anyone else? You will need to minimize the risk you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major grouping, very big in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they feel happy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to think about. Your savings are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them completing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair from time to time solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a ordinary groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the male is sexually neglecting his lady for a large humber of reasons. As a male I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them available to us guys of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just developed apart, our ordinary concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.